The Ethics of Online Begging
When I started this whole endeavor with the begging for scraps of yarn to make a blankie, I really did have the best of intentions. I still do, pretty much. I thought that it would be a pretty even trade - me getting to use more and different yarn scraps than what I had on hand to finish this blanket some time in the next year instead of over the next 20 years as I knit a pair of socks at a time and add slowly to my own stash of yarn scraps; and you, my newly loyal readers and benefactors, getting to unload yarn that was taking up space in your stash that you didn't really want. I thought it would be a relief to those people to see their yarn put to good use - to watch me knit it into something fun, and I even promised right from the start to share the pooled stash with others who wanted it.
I'm pretty sure I made that idea crystal-clear in my Feed My Obsession post. Clear to anyone who actually read the words in the post and didn't just scroll by to look at the pretty pictures. Sorry, that last sentence sounds a little bitter, and bitter is not how I really feel toward all the wonderful people who have sent me packages so far. But there have been a few things lately that have made me reconsider the ethics in this naive request for something I wanted that I thought others had and didn't really want.
I got a rather scathing e-mail the other day about my comment on being ashamed to be American. I don't really care about the whole message of what she had to say in the e-mail. This is my blog, and I reserve the right to express my feelings here, to share too much information on occasion, to be myself. There are things about America as a country, things about myself as an American of which I am not proud. One of those things is that we are at war with Iraq, and that I didn't do more to help keep us from going. I put a Peace bumper sticker on my car, but I'm going to openly admit that I was too self-centered to get out and protest or to even write my representatives. I know a lot of Americans *did* do more than I did, and I am proud of them. Now, this is not a political blog, and I *really* don't want to make it one. I'm horrible about arguing politics, and there are so many political blogs out there already. I'd much rather stick to knitting and food and kids. I'm sorry that I hurt some feelings with my comment, and I have to say that even though I don't like the war in Iraq, I deeply respect and appreciate our service people working over there whether they believe in the war or not.
The point I was trying to make, though, was that this woman blamed me of asking you for your yarn because I didn't want to go to the yarn store to buy my own. Honey, I buy my own yarn all the time. I work at a freakin' yarn store, and I almost never leave there without a new acquisition in my bag. I buy more yarn and associated goods than I make at my little job. Trouble is, if I buy a skein of sock yarn, I have to knit up the pair of socks before I know how much will be left over. Even if I bought one of every variety that we carry at the store, there is no way I could get the variety that has shown up at my house in the last week. The Twin Cities has the highest yarn store per capita in the U.S. and probably the world, but I'm willing to bet that if I visited every store in the metro area and bought one skein of each variety I STILL wouldn't have the variety sitting on my guest bed right now.
But then there is the issue of people sending me whole skeins of yarn. Yarn that could be used, just like the new skein from the store, to make a pair of socks before going into the blanket(s). A couple of people e-mailed me asking if they could send whole skeins that for whatever reason they really wanted out of their house. Even though I had hundreds of e-mails to answer, I took the time to talk with these people and make sure that they really really didn't want this yarn before I agreed to take it. I didn't want anyone going out and *buying* me yarn just because Stephanie told them to bury me. I even warned them that if whole skeins showed up on my doorstep, I might feel compelled to knit them into socks rather than immediately put them in the blanket, and they still sent it.
And I felt a little guilty. So I offered to share some of this windfall with some of you. I kind of wanted to keep all the yarn for at least a month or so in order to get a "buried" picture once the bulk of the packages had arrived. But there are some really juicy, wonderful skeins that I felt deserved to be used immediately, and I've already had takers on a few of them. I think I'll have at least two or three packages going out to people within the next week, maybe more. There is no reason to be jealous of me opening all these packages - well, I guess I would be jealous of anyone getting to have the actual experience of opening the packages one by one an touching and smelling and holding the yarn, sorting it out and taking pictures. But if you want some of this, just ask! I don't know if I'll have enough to pass out for everyone, but I know some people who want it badly enough will get it.
The criteria I'm going to use when sending this out are something like this: Is the person going to knit it up right away (do they have an immediate plan for it?) Do they blog - will they share the joy of their project with us and the rest of the internet, or at least send me some pictures to post? I think I'm going to start a Flickr group. Is there a charity angle? That will get you to the top of the list. Is there a child involved? I know that is arbitrary, but I give preferential treatment to people who knit for children. I reserve the right to give away some of the yarn to anybody else for whatever reason strikes my fancy as well, but if you're sending me yarn you'll just have to trust my judgement. I promised to either knit it myself or find it a good home, and that's what I'm going to try to do.
There's just one other thing. I'm going to do a packages-I-got-today post in a minute. I want to make it seperate from this rant because those people deserve to be thanked in a space away from this negative energy that I'm feeling. In it you are going to see some really overly generous gifts. There are some full skeins of yarn in there that look brand new to me. This is something I definitely didn't ask for. I feel a bit guilty accepting them at all. But you know what? I may keep one or two of them for myself. For socks. Socks that may not get knit up immediately, but some time in the future after the current sock-like project is off the needles. (I'm working on a pair of leggings for Julie in sock yarn, and they are taking the place that my normal sock knitting would in the diaper bag.) How do you all, my new readers, donators especially, feel about that?
I'm pretty sure I made that idea crystal-clear in my Feed My Obsession post. Clear to anyone who actually read the words in the post and didn't just scroll by to look at the pretty pictures. Sorry, that last sentence sounds a little bitter, and bitter is not how I really feel toward all the wonderful people who have sent me packages so far. But there have been a few things lately that have made me reconsider the ethics in this naive request for something I wanted that I thought others had and didn't really want.
I got a rather scathing e-mail the other day about my comment on being ashamed to be American. I don't really care about the whole message of what she had to say in the e-mail. This is my blog, and I reserve the right to express my feelings here, to share too much information on occasion, to be myself. There are things about America as a country, things about myself as an American of which I am not proud. One of those things is that we are at war with Iraq, and that I didn't do more to help keep us from going. I put a Peace bumper sticker on my car, but I'm going to openly admit that I was too self-centered to get out and protest or to even write my representatives. I know a lot of Americans *did* do more than I did, and I am proud of them. Now, this is not a political blog, and I *really* don't want to make it one. I'm horrible about arguing politics, and there are so many political blogs out there already. I'd much rather stick to knitting and food and kids. I'm sorry that I hurt some feelings with my comment, and I have to say that even though I don't like the war in Iraq, I deeply respect and appreciate our service people working over there whether they believe in the war or not.
The point I was trying to make, though, was that this woman blamed me of asking you for your yarn because I didn't want to go to the yarn store to buy my own. Honey, I buy my own yarn all the time. I work at a freakin' yarn store, and I almost never leave there without a new acquisition in my bag. I buy more yarn and associated goods than I make at my little job. Trouble is, if I buy a skein of sock yarn, I have to knit up the pair of socks before I know how much will be left over. Even if I bought one of every variety that we carry at the store, there is no way I could get the variety that has shown up at my house in the last week. The Twin Cities has the highest yarn store per capita in the U.S. and probably the world, but I'm willing to bet that if I visited every store in the metro area and bought one skein of each variety I STILL wouldn't have the variety sitting on my guest bed right now.
But then there is the issue of people sending me whole skeins of yarn. Yarn that could be used, just like the new skein from the store, to make a pair of socks before going into the blanket(s). A couple of people e-mailed me asking if they could send whole skeins that for whatever reason they really wanted out of their house. Even though I had hundreds of e-mails to answer, I took the time to talk with these people and make sure that they really really didn't want this yarn before I agreed to take it. I didn't want anyone going out and *buying* me yarn just because Stephanie told them to bury me. I even warned them that if whole skeins showed up on my doorstep, I might feel compelled to knit them into socks rather than immediately put them in the blanket, and they still sent it.
And I felt a little guilty. So I offered to share some of this windfall with some of you. I kind of wanted to keep all the yarn for at least a month or so in order to get a "buried" picture once the bulk of the packages had arrived. But there are some really juicy, wonderful skeins that I felt deserved to be used immediately, and I've already had takers on a few of them. I think I'll have at least two or three packages going out to people within the next week, maybe more. There is no reason to be jealous of me opening all these packages - well, I guess I would be jealous of anyone getting to have the actual experience of opening the packages one by one an touching and smelling and holding the yarn, sorting it out and taking pictures. But if you want some of this, just ask! I don't know if I'll have enough to pass out for everyone, but I know some people who want it badly enough will get it.
The criteria I'm going to use when sending this out are something like this: Is the person going to knit it up right away (do they have an immediate plan for it?) Do they blog - will they share the joy of their project with us and the rest of the internet, or at least send me some pictures to post? I think I'm going to start a Flickr group. Is there a charity angle? That will get you to the top of the list. Is there a child involved? I know that is arbitrary, but I give preferential treatment to people who knit for children. I reserve the right to give away some of the yarn to anybody else for whatever reason strikes my fancy as well, but if you're sending me yarn you'll just have to trust my judgement. I promised to either knit it myself or find it a good home, and that's what I'm going to try to do.
There's just one other thing. I'm going to do a packages-I-got-today post in a minute. I want to make it seperate from this rant because those people deserve to be thanked in a space away from this negative energy that I'm feeling. In it you are going to see some really overly generous gifts. There are some full skeins of yarn in there that look brand new to me. This is something I definitely didn't ask for. I feel a bit guilty accepting them at all. But you know what? I may keep one or two of them for myself. For socks. Socks that may not get knit up immediately, but some time in the future after the current sock-like project is off the needles. (I'm working on a pair of leggings for Julie in sock yarn, and they are taking the place that my normal sock knitting would in the diaper bag.) How do you all, my new readers, donators especially, feel about that?
posted by Shelly Kang at 10:08 PM
17 Comments:
well said... well done... :)
We donors sent you the yarn to use as you saw fit. It made me happy to send it; it will make me happy to see you use it - whether it is in the blanket or socks or whatever. I bet the vast majority of donators feel the same way. Take the full skeins that catch your fancy, make socks or whatever, and share the pictures with us. This started as a lark and a challenge - 'bury her house'. It will be a real shame if it turns negative because of the grumpy comments of a few. Knit (or crochet) happy!
Ditto to what Jen and Elisa said. I would feel very bad if this turned into negative experience for you. By my last count, you have 44 people (plus the packages in the post I haven't read yet) who support you. I feel bad for the folks who don't understand that freedom means that *everyone* can share their opinions, whether its the popular opinion or not.
I do have a political/knitting blog and have had a couple of negative experiences, but overall not so much. And I have expressed shame at the behavior of our leadership. That is just how I feel about it and that is what blogs are for. Go for it!
And I have many times been awestruck by the generosity of knitters, especially sockknitters. Once I posted on the sockknitters group that my DD thought Regia was too scratchy and people sent me softer yarns for her to try out, plenty for a pair for a 5 year old. It was so amazing! And being a very low budget knitter, very appreciated!
So don't feel bad, don't feel guilty. Use it, stash it, give it away, whatever. People do what they WANT to do and if this is what they want to do, you're making them happy!
I personally think it is a very American, ingenious thing to take a bunch of scrap yarn and reuse it for a project that none of us could make with our own small amount of leftovers. It's recycling, NOT consuming more than you need to, and brings a community together. All things that this American believes in.
It is very american to dislike what your government is doing--and say it! I feel the same way about being american; there are so many good things, the social and economic freedom, the opportunities, the blending of many cultures. Those things I love. I feel mentally and emotionally free here, in a way that I never did when I lived or visited in Europe. Love Europe, it just has other things to offer than the US.
BUT saying what you mean, not just sucking up what the government does and saying "well, its the president he must know what he is doing" is very american. we cannot get better if we do not find somethings are wrong. And sure, we should all be demonstrating and protesting but SMALL CHILDREN TAKE AN OVERWHELMING AMOUNT OF TIME and sometimes life gets in the way.
I love the online begging! is like a KAL where you do not have to knit anything. We are all a small part of your blanket's community--that is really fun! and I hate having unuseable stuff around. Recycle! share the wealth! thanks for doing this.
Personally, I feel you're doing all of us a service, rather than the other way around. I'll be going through my stash today and doing a bit of rearranging. Knowing that there's someone out there who really WANTS my leftovers and has a concrete plan to USE them, is a blessing.
Your blog, your right to say what you want, how you want it. So go for it ^_^.
As for the yarn sending...I think Brenda summed it up nicely ^_^.I'm going to assume this blanket will take you a long, long time, so maybe in the future when I've knit (yes, "when", not "if" ^_~) some socks, I can send you my stuff that's left over. I'm a patient knitter (which most of my friends will attest to, since I make a veritable ton of Prayer Shawls, which is an endless amount of repetition), but I can't see myself making a blanket out of sockyarn in the near future. So yes, you are doing everyone a service by recycling. Heck, it's not unlike recycling plastic or paper, that gets sent somewhere too, right? Only this is much more fun for all of us, because we get to share in your progress and know you're having a good time of it at the same time
I know it is part of blogging, but I always find it a shame when people take the time to tell a person how awful they are on their own personal space. I personally happen to agree with your political views, but even if I didn't I wouldn't write hateful things to you, I would simply quit reading your blog. As far as the yarn, I think it's great what you're doing, and best of all people are sending you yarn because they want to, not because they have to! I had e-mailed you about yarn and I found out you were using natural fibers, and had you not asked specifically that people NOT go out and buy you a new skein I would have, just for fun, because you seem nice and are doing a neat project. By the way, I do a lot of charity knitting and they ask that it specifically be washable, so if you have any acrylics or the like that you're not using and someone else hasn't claimed, I'd be happy to knit it up for them - and of course show pictures! (because isn't that always the best part?)
Well, Shelly. I happen to *disagree* with your politics. But I disagree with whoever wrote you hate e-mail too. No-one has the right to blast people for their opinions. It's a crying shame that our country is so deeply divided. I read knitting blogs for the togetherness, not the disparity. All that said, I need some scraps for my blanket, LOL! *Just scraps please*, as you can see from my stash page that I have plenty of "sockable" yarn.
Nowhere did you ask for full skeins or for anyone to go out and purchase yarn to send you so I don't see where the e-mail sender got the impression that you were trying to avoid purchasing your own yarn. You've also been saying from the beginning that you would be sharing the wealth so I don't see what the problem is. What people send is their choice, you don't have a gun to anyone's head.
hi shelley,when i first read about you request i thought it was a most delightful idea to ask for others scraps!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i find it astonishing to read that you have had negative comments, i guess there are gripers "out there"
ready to dump on whatever.
do enjoy your packages and the contents!!! the blankie looks lovely! maybe one day you should start a blankie-from-scraps-knit-along.
take care,helga
glad you liked the stamps. yes, we do have awesome stamps up here, among other things.
sorry about the chocolate!
well said. I don't feel you came off "begging" at all. I have a couple fair isle projects I'd love to make, but I cannot justify buying entire skiens of yarn in so many colors when I just need a little of eacch. I am so glad you're in the market for leftovers, because I don't have much use for them, yet I cannot just throw them out.
The nerve of some people... it's not like you were hurting anyone. I definitely support what you're doing and hopefully you won't get anymore nasty emails!
hey, Shelly, you hit the nail on the head in your very first post: Left-Over Sock Yarn = guilt. Everyone knows it, everyone has "the LOSY basket," everyone looks at it and feels the pangs. You are doing a community service by giving sock-knitters, a practical and generous bunch, a way to get rid of the LOSY-guilt, as well as an additional outlet for all that practicality and generosity. *harumph* ;~)
And gimme a break - this sh*t's so awful that *every* American deserves to be excused for a Dixies-Chicks moment.
~ hb33 ~
You know, sometimes I feel ashamed to be HUMAN, much less American -- just as sometimes I feel proud to be both -- based on the depravity or amazing humanity I witness. How silly it seems to me for someone to blast you for expressing a feeling - we can't help our feelings, be they pride, shame, happiness, sadness. And those who go around demanding that everyone should think and feel exactly like they do are wasting their time, and more importantly, they are wasting your time!
Hell, I wouldn't care if you'd said, "Hello. I selfishly want people to send me as much yarn as possible because I never want to purchase yarn again, and I think you should all go out and buy it for me." Because if people subsequently went out and bought you yarn and sent it to you, that's their own business and yours. I don't see a gun being held to anybody's head around here.
I'm rambling, I suppose. But I guess I just had to put my two cents' worth in.
Online Begging? Who Knows? But at least its all good fun...
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