For those of you who hadn’t noticed, I’ve been going through a bit of a rough patch the last few weeks, especially this week, but today was a little better. Joe and I had a really good talk about the whole Sophie sleeping thing last night, and agreed on a plan of action that we actually tried out tonight. I have to say, whenever I’m a little down or even verging on depressed about something, coming up with a plan of action – just admitting that there is a problem and starting to work towards a solution – makes me feel a lot better fast.
Anyway, we’re following some advice from Dr. Greene, and while it’s not Ferberizing, it definitely would fall under the umbrella of cry-it-out according to the die-hard AP parents (one of which I have considered myself since Julie was born – maybe they’ll have to take away my membership card now 
). We’ve committed to give this a go for at least a couple of weeks and see what happens. The best part of this plan, as far as I’m concerned, is that neither one of us is stuck with an awake baby all evening long. We’re going to take 20 or 30 minute turns. The worst part about sitting in a darkened room trying to get a baby to sleep is not knowing how long you might have to be in there, and it helps me to have a countdown till Joe will show up and relieve me. And the worst part of being in another room while Joe is trying to get a crying baby to sleep is not knowing how much longer it’s going to go on, or whether or not I should go try to help. Now we have some rules. Ask me how I feel about our new arrangement in a couple of weeks and I may feel differently, but at least for the moment it is offering me some hope. Really, the end goal is to get the baby to get the sleep that she desperately needs and is not getting now.
In the mean time, yesterday I was still having a pretty bad day, and what does a knitter do who is depressed about not having any free time to herself for knitting all the beautiful yarn she already owns? She goes out and buys more yarn. In this case, I went and checked out a LYS that is just down the road from my house, but which I had not visited for several years. I dragged both girls with me in their double stroller – Julie slept through it and Sophie played with the toys dangling from her car seat while I poked around for a good fifteen minutes. I ended up buying more sock yarn (what else?). This is a skein of Schaeffer Anne, and of course the picture does not do the colours justice.
Now let’s look at some cute kid pictures!
I call this one Soylent Green. Yesterday I caught Julie assembling a people sandwich out of her wooden play bread and a whole pile of old-school Fisher Price Little People. She even looks a bit like a savage cannibal in this picture. I think what was really going on was that she was pretending to be either a cat or a dog and that the little people were kibble. The kid has the capacity to totally crack me up, even when I’m having a really crappy day.
Here’s Sophie during lunch time today. I gave her a little bowl with some puffed rice cereal – the unsweetened kind. It kept her busy for a good twenty minutes. She’s still trying to refine her pincer-grasp technique, but she did manage to get some cereal in her mouth on her own.
Then Julie got involved. I didn’t manage to capture the full depth of the cuteness, I’m sorry to say. But Julie was feeding cereal bits to Sophie one at a time and Sophie was really enjoying it, opening her little mouth for the next bite and even grabbing Julie’s hand to suck it in even faster. They were making each other laugh, and it was very sweet. This also did nothing to hurt my mood.
Finally, I was working on the blankie a bit this morning after breakfast while the girls played. I finished a square and spread it out on the floor for a second to get a good look at it. I wasn’t planning on taking any pictures, but then this happened and I had no choice. If nothing else, Julie makes a good marker for scale. But it was fun watching her roll around on it, and we played a little game of color-matching with it for a few minutes. I love her smile in this picture. She’s being totally naughty because I was asking her to hold still for a second, and instead she kept wiggling and flipping her skirt up with her legs, so I had to just snap the shot during a brief pause. Still, it’s the best one of the batch.
I love that very cute photo of Julie on the blankie. Do you have any suggestions for how I might go about soliciting leftover sock yarn donations for a similar blankie of my own? I’ve been admiring the progress of yours for quite some time.
Oh, and I won’t take away your die-hard APer identification card, but I will offer you an extra card for being a non-(or at least less-) dogmatic APer. If your child needs sleep, and following the “rules” (which I wish more people would recognize as *guidelines*) of AP is not letting your child get that sleep, I think recognizing that fact and doing what you need to do for the sake of your child is the most AP thing you could possibly do. Attachment Parenting is all about really knowing (and therefore being attached to) your kid on a more than superficial level, and giving them what they really need as an individual, after all.
At least, that’s my view. I’ll step off my soapbox now, and pass the saltshaker if you need it. Good luck, and I hope your plan works for you.
I couldn’t have said it better. AP really is all about knowing-your-child in the truest sense of the word. That level of involvement takes a great deal of dedication, consistency, stamina, energy and devotion. So pat yourselves on the back, you two dear parents, for all that you are doing for those two sweet girls.
Soylent green, I love it!
I won’t comment on the whole parenting/sleep thing because I’m not a parent and don’t feel the right to comment, except to say, find a path that feels right for the two of you and works for your child and good luck.
We used to take half-hour shifts, too, when our oldest was a baby and would cry up to 7 hours at night. It really does help. We tried the “let her cry it out” a few times when she was an older baby, but every time we did that, it turned out she had an ear infection or something.
The good news is that everything you do now in order to keep your sanity, but which you worry will somehow harm your baby, probably won’t. Harm your baby, I mean. The sanity thing is always in question.
Your always pissed off about something you do that you never even thought about. Just ask my almost-12-year old.
My mother gave me some excellent advice when my children were small and I constantly worried that I wasn’t parenting exactly right. She told me, “You don’t want to be perfect. What kind of an example is that to set for your kids? You just need to be good enough.”
I also think that parenting babies and toddlers is so difficult because you really do feel like you’re inventing the wheel. You can’t remember what your parents did when you were that age so there’s no way to decide if you want to replicate what they did then, because it worked so well, or do the opposite because it was horrible. It gets easier as they get older, because you have a model in your mind for what you want to do, because you CAN remember.
Well, crap. I meant “THEY’RE always pissed off about something…”
I’m a mere lurker (lurk…lurk…lurking…) most of the time but I almost had to comment yesterday and today finally got up the nerve. My parenting history (I have two girls, age 10 mo. and 30 mo.) is very similar to yours and what saved us was a book by Dr. Marc Weissbluth called “Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child.” Kids need to sleep and you are doing the right thing by working hard to make sure that Sophie does. The book really helped us — if you have the time or inclination to check it out, it might help you too. Just my two cents. P.S. Love your blog and your girls are adorable!
As a die-hard APer myself I won’t take your card away either. Even “The No-Cry Sleep Solution” has a last resort chapter with a plan similar to yours. I think there is a huge difference between just putting a baby down and leaving them to cry alone vs. sitting right next to them and comforting them as you help them try to sleep.
We’ve had a ton of sleep issues lately as well, and I can’t say enough good things about “Sleepless in America” which I just finished. She helps you figure out your kids temperment in relation to sleep, which can have a huge effect on how they sleep. Then, she has plans. I love plans too and always feel better too once I have one!
I’ve been buying tons of yarn too for the same reason. I figure I’ll get it all knitted up when the boys are in HS and I’m staying up late worrying when they’ll get home:-)
Good luck with the sleep stuff, I wish, wish, wish we’d done something similar with our almost three year old, but when she was that age (and a rotten sleeper) I broke my foot, and we’re STILL seeing the night time effects of her trouble putting herself to sleep! I keep swearing things will be different with the little guy, but at the moment he’s on week six of pnuemonia, and we can’t really work on sleeping until he stops coughing. Good luck – one other thought, with our daughter, I changed her to a brighter night light so that when I am stuck in her foom for 20 or 40 or 60 minutes waiting for her to settle to sleep in her crib – its just light enough to knit (something easy of course) but still, its much less frustrating with knitting
Celeste (celeste_low@hotmail.com)
I will preface this with the facts that I am not a parent, although I have been a pediatric physical therapsit for 20 years, and worked the church nursery for years and babysit for years before that! I totally agree with what you are doing, and what people are saying. Going without sleep for nights on end is not good for you or your baby. As well as she does need to learn how to fall asleep, so you are teaching that in stages rather than “cold turkey” (crying it out). Six month old children understand cause and effect, and can therefor learn to manipulate, but also can learn what you will do to help her. I love your blog!
That blanky is becoming more and more beautiful everytime I see it ^_^. The kiddos don’t hurt it, either ^_~.
I’m sorry to hear that things haven’t improved much with Sophie’s sleeping. Hopefully your new plan of action will prove to be helpful. Good luck!