Human Milk Factory
It has not been a terribly wonderful day in the life of this human milk factory. I woke up feeling so achy that this time when Joe asked "Do I need to stay home?" I answered "Yes, please." And I struggled with the misplaced guilt of letting go my parenting duties all day long.
One half of me told myself I should be up helping out, that I should get up and tell Joe to go on in to work for the afternoon, that laying in bed is lazy and maybe I'm being overly dramatic. Then, after some Tylenol, a couple more hours of sleep and nursing the baby again because when Human Milk Factory is part of your job description you don't get to take the day off from that, I dragged myself downstairs for some breakfast and to try to help with the kids for a bit. Lo and behold, there really was a reason why Joe had stayed home. I still had the throbbing headache that boomed even louder when I leaned down to pick up a child or a toy. My whole body did still ache, and I was exhausted beyond comprehension.
Every time I put my left arm down at my side, it felt like I had something tucked under it - like maybe my wallet or a folded dish towel. Nope, just a swollen milk duct. I was really surprised, since I remember the other times I've had mastitis feeling almost immediately better after starting the antibiotics - the kind of immediately better where you start to wonder if you were really sick in the first place even though you know you so desperately were. Not today. I'm still feeling pretty crappy. I even went back to bed for a few more hours this afternoon, and laid there listening to a book on tape while drifting in and out of consciousness. It was the Time Traveller's Wife, and I've just started it so I have a feeling I will need to start at the beginning again.
There were many moments during the day today when I wondered if there is some other malady that presents as mastitis but is really some horribly incurable deadly disease. Like a fast spreading cancer or some crazy virus. I know I am not the only person who has a hidden hypochondriac that comes out when they are sick. But I think maybe I'm starting to mend, and I know that a big part of what I needed was some rest. It's very hard to take a day off work when you're a stay at home mom, but Joe did an awesome job of keeping the kids downstairs.
Tomorrow is Sophie's first birthday, and I have done next to nothing to prepare for it. The party's not till Sunday, but I feel we should mark the actual day with some small celebration. I sent Joe out this afternoon to buy her present, and in the morning maybe Sophie and I can pick up some balloons while Julie is in pre-school. The mylar kind, which last forever and are safer for little kids. I have a little video of Julie on her first birthday with one of her balloons - here it is on You Tube:
Sophie is nowhere near that kind of walking yet, and it's interesting comparing the two girls at this milestone. Julie was saying several words and full-on walking by the time she turned one - you can hear her saying "buh! buh!" in the video, which was her version of balloon for a long time, and Sophie is still happily cruising and has said Mama only a couple of times. The range of "normal" is so wide, and I am not at all worried. Sophie is such a happy baby, and obviously healthy and on her way to the same milestones. Perhaps I have been a little bit less in her face with reading books and singing songs and over-the-top parenting than I was with Julie, but then again, she is not screaming constantly as Julie was, she gets the benefits of playing with her big sister every day, and she *is* perfectly happy.
This has been quite the ramble of a post! I'll share with you a quick and dirty picture of the knitting I did last night:
This is the first in the pair of clogs for our little friend - it's waiting for me to knit on the outer sole. I took a little packet of yarn swatches to hand off to them in the school parking lot the other day - Julie and M go to school in the same building at the same time on Mondays, so I often run into them in the parking lot after dropping Julie off. Apparently, it took quite some time for M to choose the colors she wanted for her clogs. She picked the pink and the orange, and unfortunately I didn't have enough pink on hand to do the big parts, so I added the green for the soles.
Now I am going to sit on the couch for a while and will my body to mend so that Joe can go back to work tomorrow and I can begin to think about all the work that needs to be done between now and Sunday so that we can celebrate Sophie's birthday properly.
One half of me told myself I should be up helping out, that I should get up and tell Joe to go on in to work for the afternoon, that laying in bed is lazy and maybe I'm being overly dramatic. Then, after some Tylenol, a couple more hours of sleep and nursing the baby again because when Human Milk Factory is part of your job description you don't get to take the day off from that, I dragged myself downstairs for some breakfast and to try to help with the kids for a bit. Lo and behold, there really was a reason why Joe had stayed home. I still had the throbbing headache that boomed even louder when I leaned down to pick up a child or a toy. My whole body did still ache, and I was exhausted beyond comprehension.
Every time I put my left arm down at my side, it felt like I had something tucked under it - like maybe my wallet or a folded dish towel. Nope, just a swollen milk duct. I was really surprised, since I remember the other times I've had mastitis feeling almost immediately better after starting the antibiotics - the kind of immediately better where you start to wonder if you were really sick in the first place even though you know you so desperately were. Not today. I'm still feeling pretty crappy. I even went back to bed for a few more hours this afternoon, and laid there listening to a book on tape while drifting in and out of consciousness. It was the Time Traveller's Wife, and I've just started it so I have a feeling I will need to start at the beginning again.
There were many moments during the day today when I wondered if there is some other malady that presents as mastitis but is really some horribly incurable deadly disease. Like a fast spreading cancer or some crazy virus. I know I am not the only person who has a hidden hypochondriac that comes out when they are sick. But I think maybe I'm starting to mend, and I know that a big part of what I needed was some rest. It's very hard to take a day off work when you're a stay at home mom, but Joe did an awesome job of keeping the kids downstairs.
Tomorrow is Sophie's first birthday, and I have done next to nothing to prepare for it. The party's not till Sunday, but I feel we should mark the actual day with some small celebration. I sent Joe out this afternoon to buy her present, and in the morning maybe Sophie and I can pick up some balloons while Julie is in pre-school. The mylar kind, which last forever and are safer for little kids. I have a little video of Julie on her first birthday with one of her balloons - here it is on You Tube:
Sophie is nowhere near that kind of walking yet, and it's interesting comparing the two girls at this milestone. Julie was saying several words and full-on walking by the time she turned one - you can hear her saying "buh! buh!" in the video, which was her version of balloon for a long time, and Sophie is still happily cruising and has said Mama only a couple of times. The range of "normal" is so wide, and I am not at all worried. Sophie is such a happy baby, and obviously healthy and on her way to the same milestones. Perhaps I have been a little bit less in her face with reading books and singing songs and over-the-top parenting than I was with Julie, but then again, she is not screaming constantly as Julie was, she gets the benefits of playing with her big sister every day, and she *is* perfectly happy.
This has been quite the ramble of a post! I'll share with you a quick and dirty picture of the knitting I did last night:
This is the first in the pair of clogs for our little friend - it's waiting for me to knit on the outer sole. I took a little packet of yarn swatches to hand off to them in the school parking lot the other day - Julie and M go to school in the same building at the same time on Mondays, so I often run into them in the parking lot after dropping Julie off. Apparently, it took quite some time for M to choose the colors she wanted for her clogs. She picked the pink and the orange, and unfortunately I didn't have enough pink on hand to do the big parts, so I added the green for the soles.
Now I am going to sit on the couch for a while and will my body to mend so that Joe can go back to work tomorrow and I can begin to think about all the work that needs to be done between now and Sunday so that we can celebrate Sophie's birthday properly.
posted by Shelly Kang at 7:55 PM
8 Comments:
I am sorry that you did not feel better today:( But hope that the rest will help! And from a developmental therapist, yes, you are correct, there is a WIDE range or normal, and I am so glad that you are not stressed over their differences!
Hope you're feeling better soon! I had mastitis twice while nursing my son (2 years). One time I reached the 103F temperature stage before figuring it out!
Have you tried a long hot shower and massaging out the infection? Hurts, but works!
Best wishes for a speedy recovery!
I recently read the Time Traveler's Wife. At first, it seemed like it would be confusing, but I got so completely wrapped up in it, I was upset when it was finished.
I hope today is better. I have no idea how I managed to dodge mastitis, but I'm relieved. I've had several friends who suffered through it, and you bet it's a real illness. If resting means you can feel comfortable, then do it. And yeah, restart the book, because that one is awesome, and the details build on each other.
BTW: I received the package, and it's great, but I haven't been able to sit down to enjoy the chocolate yet. Thank you again for the kind gifts and the fun contests!
I love the video... not sure who is cuter, Julie or your cat! It's good that you let Joe stay home. I hope you're feeling better soon.
Stop feeling guilty for being sick! Silly person. Mommies get sick too and that's the way it goes. Besides, if you don't push yourself while recovering, the recovery tends to be more complete and take less time! So you could argue that asking Joe to stay home speeded up your recvery in the long run!
I was hoping you would be feeling better by now~~I know how you feel about having someone else "do your job". I too am a mom, and am recovering from major surgery. It is hard to have others do for me. I feel lazy, but I know that I need to let my body heal. Take care!! I can't believe Miss Sophie is one year!!
i hope you feel better! I'm pretty sure i've said this before, but it basically kills me how cute your kids are. My mom totally kooked out when my youngest brother wasn't talking by one year. she even took him to the doctor to make sure he didn't have an ear problem. you've got such a healthy attitude about your kids.
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