My Melting Heart
Warning, this is a sappy little post.
Sophie is always so cute and peaceful when I finally get her to sleep, it makes me sad to put her down in her crib and walk away. She gets so limp and snuggly and generally delicious, I feel like my heart is going to melt down to a little puddle of love. So today I took the camera upstairs and caught the moment, crusty post-lunch cheeks and all.
She does this little thing when I am nursing her to sleep. It won't touch you the way that it touches me, because she is my child and I am the one who gets to experience it every day and have come to anticipate and love it. But I will tell you anyway, and maybe you will understand. I nurse her with one breast until I feel she has finished, then I gently de-latch her. Sometimes, she is asleep enough that she limply parts and so I hold her a few moments more and enjoy her little sleeping self before I put her down. Other times, and this is the cute part, she is too sleepy to cry, but she registers her disapproval by kicking her little feet in a floppy up-and-let-them-drop kind of swing that lets me know she wants some more and so I switch sides and she latches on and we repeat the whole process a few minutes later. I know. You have to be there to get it. But I SO get it, and I don't want to lose that moment to the muddy waters of memory, not any time soon at least.
Speaking of bed time, tonight was my turn to put Julie to bed. Joe and I take turns putting each girl to sleep with their own little routines, and Julie's routine involves stories and cuddles and tucking in and turning off the light. After I finished reading her allotted three stories tonight, I smothered her with hugs and kisses and then I asked her if I could have a kiss back. Julie said "Wait. I'm going to give you a kiss on your back." Then she proceeded to stand up in the bed, lean over and kiss my back (I was still in doggie position from having playfully hugged and kissed her all over her face.) Then, she lay back down and let me tuck her in one last time before I got up and turned off her Hello Kitty lamp and left the room. My girl, she can drive me crazy with her endless questions and her insanely independent streak and her fickle moods. But she does little things like that all the time and they melt my icy little heart.
Sophie is always so cute and peaceful when I finally get her to sleep, it makes me sad to put her down in her crib and walk away. She gets so limp and snuggly and generally delicious, I feel like my heart is going to melt down to a little puddle of love. So today I took the camera upstairs and caught the moment, crusty post-lunch cheeks and all.
She does this little thing when I am nursing her to sleep. It won't touch you the way that it touches me, because she is my child and I am the one who gets to experience it every day and have come to anticipate and love it. But I will tell you anyway, and maybe you will understand. I nurse her with one breast until I feel she has finished, then I gently de-latch her. Sometimes, she is asleep enough that she limply parts and so I hold her a few moments more and enjoy her little sleeping self before I put her down. Other times, and this is the cute part, she is too sleepy to cry, but she registers her disapproval by kicking her little feet in a floppy up-and-let-them-drop kind of swing that lets me know she wants some more and so I switch sides and she latches on and we repeat the whole process a few minutes later. I know. You have to be there to get it. But I SO get it, and I don't want to lose that moment to the muddy waters of memory, not any time soon at least.
Speaking of bed time, tonight was my turn to put Julie to bed. Joe and I take turns putting each girl to sleep with their own little routines, and Julie's routine involves stories and cuddles and tucking in and turning off the light. After I finished reading her allotted three stories tonight, I smothered her with hugs and kisses and then I asked her if I could have a kiss back. Julie said "Wait. I'm going to give you a kiss on your back." Then she proceeded to stand up in the bed, lean over and kiss my back (I was still in doggie position from having playfully hugged and kissed her all over her face.) Then, she lay back down and let me tuck her in one last time before I got up and turned off her Hello Kitty lamp and left the room. My girl, she can drive me crazy with her endless questions and her insanely independent streak and her fickle moods. But she does little things like that all the time and they melt my icy little heart.
posted by Shelly Kang at 8:14 PM
2 Comments:
Precious!! Nursing is such a sweet experience for mother and child. My daughter nursed for 20 months, and I don't regret one minute!! She used to say "ah shuu mama" because I would say, "okay, now mama can nurse you" and that is my special nursing story.
I miss that part of having a baby. Watching him relax in my arms and unlatch slowly in sleep. Sigh. Thanks for reminding me of it.
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