Time is short tonight – I must get to bed relatively early so that I can be up and out the door at the crack of dawn for Yarnover. Woot! I get a whole day off from my family and I will be in a class on dyeing yarn, not to mention the chance to see a bunch of cool knitters and shop the marketplace.
Blankie is doing fine, no worries. I’m going to weave in a few ends tonight so I won’t have as many dangling around when I show it off tomorrow (yes, I’m quite the show-off, but people to seem interested in the blankie as well.) We’ll have an update tomorrow night perhaps.
Barfie sock is going to stay Rainbow Barf. Sorry, people. There’s a thing about names and power. When my dear brother-in-law Dave used that phrase, it was meant as a joke, and at the time it was a sort of offhand insult that he didn’t even realize he was making. My feelings were hurt at the time, but it was long ago and I’ve since realized that it wasn’t meant hurtfully and he was just having fun. Dave is a super nice, funny guy who really means well. Over time, I see the joke and I laugh at it too. It’s funny. Even though the object – then a baby blanket, now a sock – is beautiful in a certain way, it is still garish and wild and obnoxious. When you take a name that has negative power and embrace it, that power becomes positive and your own. Plus, I derive a childish pleasure from saying barf.
Now, I’m about to go off on a tangent a bit. The other day I showed you this picture:
And on that post, I got a comment from Sue, who has chosen to stay anonymous, and who has given me some unsolicited advice to the tune of “Mama, you really need to wear some eye-makeup!” Geez, Sue. Ya think? Thanks for sharing that astute observation with me and all my readers. Well, let me share my feelings with all y’all on makeup and a few other things.
1. While I’m pretty open and honest and friendly on this space, and you all know a lot about me, I keep finding myself receiving attention from readers acting as if we are old friends. The thing is, no we are not old friends. I don’t know 99% of you for diddly. Yes, there are a few lovely people who comment on a regular basis, and I love you. But even those people, I wouldn’t want them just dropping by the house unannounced or calling my home and asking my husband where I am or can they have my cell phone number. Think about some boundaries before you contact me, people. If I’m out in public and you see me, especially at a knitting event, by all means say hello. Feel free to send me an e-mail. And remember, you may feel like you know me, but really you know only the portion of me that I choose to share on this site and *I* don’t know you at all.
2. That picture was taken in November 2004 when Julie was just over one year old. Back then, we hadn’t figured out Julie’s food allergies yet and she was up most nights screaming in pain for hours on end. During the days, she wanted me to hold her pretty much all the time. If I look a little tired in that picture, it’s because I freakin’ AM! Unlike some people, I think that if as a mom you’re freakin’ tired, maybe it’s okay to look that way most of the time. Maybe the people around you should be able to glance over and think “DAMN! She looks tired. Maybe she needs a little help or at least commiseration.” Also, when I look at that picture? I see a happy mommy and a happy baby, a very bright moment in what was often a dark time what with all the screaming and unhappy baby moments that there were back then.
3. Priorities. If I have to choose between putting on eye makeup and paying attention to my children who are tired of waiting for me to finish getting dressed and take them downstairs for breakfast, I’m probably going to go get everyone fed. On the other hand, I do insist on getting a shower pretty much every day. It helps wake me up and make me feel a bit more human.
4. I spent most of my 20s obsessed with being attractive. Working out constantly, starving myself to be thin, dyeing my hair. In those days, I didn’t even go to the gym without makeup on. I looked great! People – strangers – would stop me in the street and tell me that I looked like a certain actress. I loved it. But I was also incredibly unhappy, full of self-hate that thankfully I’ve long since worked through and let go of. As part of that letting-go process, I kind of realized that maybe I didn’t have to look beautiful on the surface at every moment. Maybe I should take off the makeup and just look like myself and see who sticks around. The people who like me for who I am will still like me, and the people who want to be with a beautiful face will drift off. For a couple of years there, I wore almost no makeup at all ever.
5. I do wear makeup sometimes. I keep it pretty minimal – I don’t like looking made up, but I also do know how to apply a little so I look perkier, so my eyes are more defined, but so that most people don’t even know I’m wearing any. This picture is a pretty good example.
You know? To each their own. I do my best not to walk up to strangers I see in the mall or on the street and tell them they have way too much goop on their face or for gawd’s sake stop wearing so much stinky perfume. Give me a break, because I’m happy with myself. You make sure you’re happy with yourself and we’ll all be happy together.
Okay, and now that the mini-rant is over, I have a little something funny to admit. I dropped my mouse on the kitchen floor earlier, so now the right-click button isn’t working. I just ordered a new mouse on Amazon, and it should be here early next week, but in the mean time, I’m using my right hand to scroll around with the mouse and my left hand to click the click button embedded next to my keyboard. Oy.
Also, yesterday I had to send my Sidekick 3 back to T-Mobile to get fixed. The earphone jack stopped working, and luckily it is still under warranty. It’s going to be gone for at least a couple weeks, maybe more. Poor me! I love my little Sidekick, love being able to get e-mail and IMs all day every day, love being able to check my Google Reader during random moments of down time no matter where I am. The good news is that at least they gave me a loaner phone – it’s just a bare-bones flip-phone, but at least I have it for emergencies and making on-the-go plans.
Okay, time to go weave in some ends. Just till this DVD is over, and then off to bed. I can hear the wool calling me. I need all the sleep I can get tonight so I can have my act together and control my credit card tomorrow.
I can’t remember the last time I wore makeup. It wasn’t to my brother’s wedding two years ago, because I had a 5-week old at the time and remembering to pack makeup was not on my mind. It must have been to my best friend’s wedding, 4 years ago, and she paid for the bridal party to get made up and coiffed.
And I’m with you on the allergies thing. That’s 4 asian/caucasian babies I know about now, all with allergies.
I will confess to missing the blankie photo. This is something that I’d love to do over the next few years. I’ve just been making entrelac baby blankets, but a mitered sock yarn blanket would be so much fun.
I have to confess – I was looking more at Julie than at you!! You are beautiful and more than that you radiate love and skills!!
Makeup shmakeup!! (Did I spell that right?) Anyway, that is an awesome picture of the two of you; you look like a tired, but lovely and happy mom.
I’ve had the same one tin of eye shadow since my wedding, hmmmm….nine years ago now! I break it out about three times a year:-)
Okay, that didn’t read quite right. (Can you tell I’m tired too:-)
I meant tired in the best sense, of course!
I also see a happy mom and little girl! Happiness is way more important than a little eye makeup!
I love reading your blog and it is awesome that you open your life and that of your family to your readers. I have wicked terrible food allergies and feel a little better when I see someone else trying to do things like find a recipe for “good” allergy free choc chip cookies. The video you shared of Sophie and her first steps the other day was precious. I really enjoy seeing blanket updates – it is an amazing project that you’ve undertaken – of course progress happens when it can, it’s life and we all understand (at least those of us that don’t have time for makeup do). I like to try and find my sock yarn in the blanket, sometimes I think I find it – it is just fun to look.
Thank you for sharing. I don’t comment much, but I always look forward to reading your blog.
Amen! Who cares about makeup when you’re up all night with your baby? IMO, you don’t need it anyway.
I have only been following your blog for a short time but love reading about your knitting and beautiful family. Obviously the person that made that comment was jealous of what you have and they don’t. Try to let it roll off your back, it isn’t worth your time or stress.
My feelings on makeup, everyone looks radiant, but if you need to look radiant by hiding yourself under makeup you must truly not be happy.
All I saw in that picture were two very happy people. And I never wear makeup. Okay. Only to cover up zits.
Having had my share of unsolicited advice on my blog, I would try to look at it in the best light. Someone was TRYING to be helpful and didn’t do a very good job of it. Tact is lost on some people, but let’s assume her heart was generally in the right area.
Have a great (make up free!) weekend!!!
Wowza, that was one rude comment. I do not blame you one bit for being peeved, and you make a very interesting point about blogging relationships.
I think that is some good-loooking barf you’ve got there.
Have fun at Yarnover!
I have been reading for a while but never posted a comment. Good for you and your mini rant! Priorities are important and you got yours straight! You are beautiful as is your family!!! What is yarnover? Whatever it is have fun, I enjoy reading your page and looking at your work. Your blanket is beautiful!!!!
A very interesting point you make about us “knowing” you and you not knowing us. I agree. I certainly feel as if I know you and the other bloggers that I read, I rejoice in your excitement and I empathize with your stress. Thank you for sharing! I think you look lovely, with or without makeup! I for one am impressed with everything you manage to do in and around being a full time mom and you priorities seem to me to be pretty right on. Have fun at yarnover!
January One blog had this same problem. People being snarky for no other reason then that they can. Anonymity breeds stupidity. Cara started a discussion that sparked 185 comments to date.
I guess Sue has insecurities that she feels the need to pass on. What a tool. Nice that she takes the time to enter the word verification to send you her comment but didn’t take the time to enter her info.
I think you look great, happy and happy baby, what more could anyone ask!
ITA 100% with your mini-rant.
I have now “grown up” and will go out without being all made up. It took me time to get to that point though..
I spent too much time concentrating on my looks when my kids were wee & little… and not enough time on what counted… I think your prioritites are where they should be.
I admire your work, and will be saving my sock yarn scraps to make a Sock Yarn Blankie too!! I am on my first pair of socks – so instead of making one for each of my kids – I will make it for myself for when I’m in the Old Folks Home… LOL
I Love your blog…
BTW you are beautiful, inside and out!
SwissKnits
I would be furious at that rude comment. I think your “tangent” was pretty tame. Sue is wrong, a busy body, and a coward. You are raising two happy, healthy girls, and making memories that they will have their whole lives. What could possibly me more important than that? Eye shadow? I think not!
Thank you for sharing so much of yourself and your life on your blog. I look forward to your posts.
P.S. Have you really had people call you or stop by from the blog? Creepy…
I never wear makeup either, and I cannot even say as your can, that I know how to apply it well!! With my allergies, things can affect me at times, and I just never have the time to do it. I agree with KC that it does seem sorta like I “know” you, but telling you about needing makeup is one of those things I doubt I would even say to a friend, unless they had asked for some sort of info on their looks. I am overweight, and although I do try not to dress “offensively” (too much bare skin,no ultra tight clothing etc), I would not feel that anyone needs to tell me what they think about how I dress. I dress for my comfort and pleasure,not theirs!
teJust dropping by to show my solidarity with you and your crazy non-make-up-wearing ways, LOL. I must say that honestly the days we are clean and presentable with clean trousers and tops without puke on them are DARN GOOD DAYS.
What pisses me off about “Sue” is that I *hope* years from now when you look at that picture, you don’t think about “Sue” and her “comment” and instead remember that moment of joy and love between you and your baby girl. A beautiful image untarnished by someone’s crass comment. (that was wrong.) (and mean.) (and did I say crass?)
You have every right to be angry about someone belittling you. Good for you standing up to some one who intends to bully you into a box.
I don’t blame you for being upset about such a thoughtless, rude comment, but you know who you are and what your life is about. Carry on!
Sadly, I was not able to attend the Yarnover event, but it sounds like great fun. Maybe next year!
Kudos. I’m also totally impressed that you care for two small kids with so many allergies.
Personally, I think makeup is nasty stuff… most of it contains pretty toxic chemicals that I’m happy to live without. (Plus I’m allergic to most makeup.) I once had a neighbour tell me that he thought it was good that women should put on makeup and feel beautiful… I can’t remember if I spoke my mind to him or not, but I believe women should feel beautiful *just* the way they are!
In that photo of you and Julie, I see two very happy people with glowing smiles.
I can’t wait for the day when people realize that perfume gives other people allergy attacks, and they stop wearing it. *sigh* Especially to things like the theater or other places you’re all crammed together. Or on airplanes… now there’s an asthma/allergy attack I won’t forget! Grrr.
Hi, just de-lurking to say “Right on!” and “Hear hear!” to both your points about makeup and about blogging.
Also, to share a quote I wish I could properly attribute (I saw it once in a comment on a LiveJournal post, that’s the best I can do I’m afraid): “A revolutionary act would be women refusing to $h!t on each other.”
You and Julie both look happy and healthy and wonderful in that picture, and it was unkind of Sue, wherever she might be, to try to take that from you.
Thank you for inviting us into your life, and for not reconsidering your decision to let us in when some dingus puts their muddy shoes on your coffee table.
I’m with you on the make-up business. Who are other people to care whether or not I or anyone else puts on make-up or fixes their hair? Even if you’re not a tired Mom. When I wear make-up I wear it for me, not for anyone else.
Blankie is lookin’ good!
Hi, Shelly.
That Barf is very exciting and beautiful. And your girls, too.
Just chiming in with many others, feeling my 2 cents is worth less than one cent, but here it is, anyway: as a perennial child of the sixties, I have never owned makeup, don’t shave anything, (only pluck my chin), wear my hair pulled straight back, I own no heels and I wear a skirt or dress about twice a year. “Feeling beautiful” is not one of my life goals. (Cherry pie is). If I did do all of those things, I would be a different person, and my husband wouldn’t love me, he would love some other woman who dresses in jeans and owns no makeup.
ps. Sue may not have left her info because she was so het up about commenting that she forgot. I have done it, myself.
Wow, that person is clearly not a mother! Like a mom of an infant/toddler has much time in which to put on make-up? Getting a shower was hard enough for me! And why is it that most of the people who leave snarky comments on your blog are anonymous?